One thing I’ve learned is that in order to stretch myself out of my comfort zone and grow, I need to regularly and consistently do things that scare the crap out of me. Just last week I posted a blog about my experience visiting 22 convicted murderers in San Quentin prison. That was scary, and an incredibly moving experience.
This summer I went camping in the Australian Outback to learn from an Aboriginal healer. Packing for the trip I kept wondering, why am I doing this? Why am I traveling half way around the world with a sleeping bag shoved in my suitcase to camp in the middle of nowhere with what could be a crazed man? My husband reminded me that there are over 26 deadly critters in the outback. “You better not die out there,” he said. And yet, he supported me to go, because he knows that when I follow my heart it’s for an important reason. And it was an incredible trip.
Experiences like these are my rites of passage, initiations into a greater sense of self. Indigenous cultures around the world have teachers and healers who regularly lead people through such journeys in order to help them evolve on their path.
Several years ago I did a Vision Quest. I was terrified of spending three days alone in the woods. I was fearful I’d be attacked by a mountain lion, but mostly I was afraid of having to be by myself for three days. An extrovert, I thought the silence would kill me. But I learned that the forest is all but silent, and that I like being by myself.
The actual activity is not as important as doing what scares me. I know that if I’m afraid of doing something, it’s an indicator. The fear I feel is different than the fear of walking down a dark alley. I’m not talking about doing stupid things. I’m talking about the things that you know you want to do, or maybe have always wanted to do, but are afraid. For example, this month I took on the challenge of finally committing to paper the book I’ve been writing in my head for years, starting with 50,000 words in November.
Every time I sit in front of the computer to write, I feel the fear in my gut. In that moment it’s like I’m jumping off a cliff, taking a risk – but the risk is with my ego. Am I being too vulnerable? What if people don’t like it? What if they judge me? Do I really have anything new to say?
The ego wants us to have all the answers, have it all figured out, do it perfectly and get the good grade. By thumbing our noses at our ego we lessen its power over us. Stepping into the unknown and learning that I can live to see the next day is incredibly liberating. And remember, doing the scary thing is not comfortable. If it were comfortable, it wouldn’t be a stretch.
Now go do something scary, and then come back and tell us how it went!
OMG very timely as I just sent out my very first product to be judged, ridiculed and hopefully purchased! I’ve been freaking out all day. I hope it doesn’t show in the packaging! LOL<
So glad you got what you needed from this post. If you aren’t scared it’s probably not challenging enough anyway! Good for you Jessica. (and from what I know of you and your work none of the above will be true!)
Great post, Laura. A few months ago I pasted a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt at the top of my computer screen: “Do one thing every day that scares you.” For me, as for you, committing to paper the book I’ve been writing in my head for years is indeed scary!
Yes, such an exciting challenge and i love that quote. I don’t do it every day, but it would be a great challenge. I guess I do bigger things less often!
Wow Laura! Sounds like you are great at pushing yourself out of the comfort zone.
Glad you’ve signed up for #contentpalooza. What an awesome, supportive group we have. Keep kicking goals!
Thanks Caylie for stopping by, and it is great to be a part of #contentpalooza with you, what an incredible group, all of us taking risks and supporting each other!
Laura…I for one look forward to the 50,000 plus words you want to share with the world. I am glad to know you are creating with the materials that inspire you. As you know, sometimes we do what scares us and sometimes scares come along and we find out what these ‘spooks’ bring in their wake (fullness.) Thanks for the inspiration to live out loud!
Mary – thanks for the comment! I missed this one! Yes, it’s true sometimes things show up to teach us when we weren’t even looking for it, thanks for mentioning that missing piece!
Laura – what a great article. This is where the gold is where the fear is and beyond. Keep stretching your comfort zone – I can say that you are going places.
Thanks Sherold, what a lovely sentence,
This is where the gold is where the fear is and beyond.
LOVE that!
Can’t wait to do stretching projects with you!
Hello Darling, in terms of traveling, you and me are so close and so different! The most scary trip I made was to go from France to Italy by myself when I was 24… You cannot really tell that it was THE big adventure but it was a big stretch for me to be alone and it really helped me to grow (plus I found a latin lover). But I really join you on the concept of doing what scares you and doing what’s outside of your comfort zone… Like this morning, it’s 11/11/11 and I accepted to participate to a webinar about the value of coaching where I’m going to coach in live during 12 minutes somebody I don’t know… Why did I do that to myself?!!!
Love
Carole thanks for sharing your experience here… I can’t wait to hear how the webinar went and what you learned! WIll you be blogging about it? please share!
Laura, I loved this post. It inspires me to think more about taking some risks with things I am passionate about. This was one of my favorite lines, “Stepping into the unknown and learning that I can live to see the next day is incredibly liberating.” Sometimes going after something that seems difficult may be the best approach. I heard someone say the other day she would rather see someone fail at trying to achieve something great vs. achieving something that didn’t have meaning.