I’m in a class where we’re exploring our story with money.
And rewriting it.
Quite an eye-opener.
Here are my earliest memories of money:
Dad spending all his time at school, working on his graduate degree.
My mom clipping Green Stamps at the kitchen table, pasting them in the little booklet to save money on groceries.
Mom selling Tupperware at our house to the women from the neighborhood.
Mom mixing in Carnation Instant Milk with the regular to stretch it.
Eating Spam for dinner. (I still like it! Crazy, I know).
Mom sewing our clothes for three girls. Hand-me down clothes from my cousin Kathleen in Florida.
Here was my revolution:
In the 7th grade I HAD to have that pair of pastel plaid elephant- leg hip-huggers AND the red and black plaid wool coat with the fake fur trim around the hood.
Those were not on sale at Kmart. They were at Lerner’s. It was time to up my game.
To get what I wanted I needed M-O-N-E-Y.
So I took whatever jobs I could – spending hours scraping off dried food from the neighbor’s dishes (a single mom in med school) and cleaning her house.
Babysitting for my parent’s friends.
Selling parking spaces on my friends front lawn to the out-of-towners coming to the University football games.
And the list goes on from there.
Here’s what I learned: Money = Freedom.
I could buy what I wanted, when I wanted, where I wanted.
The catch? I’ve been working hard ever since. Really, really hard.
(Well, except the year I took off to South America with a backpack, but that’s another story).
What I didn’t realize is working for your freedom is a cruel and heartless joke, like that sign over the entrance to the Auschwitz concentration camp that says “Arbeit macht frei” translation: Work Will Set You Free.
This system I adopted to set me free has become my prison.
Over 4th of July weekend this summer I read the 4-Hour Workweek. Cover to cover. I was mesmerized, spellbound. It was like someone had found the secret code for true liberation. Sentences like “de-couple time and money” “take a mini retirement now instead of waiting until you’re too old or too tired or too sick to enjoy your actual retirement” and “you can work from anywhere in the world with an internet connection and a cell phone” called off the page to my weary soul with promises of a brighter, freer, stress-free future.
Since then I’ve been like one of those men imprisoned at Alcatraz who felt it was in some ways worse than any other prison because it was so painfully obvious how close and yet far away they were from freedom.
I hear the laughter wafting off the boats in the Bay at sunset, the champagne glasses clinking in the starlight, and see the twinkling bright lights of the San Francisco skyline. I’m no closer to freedom, just more acutely aware of how far away it is.
Until now. Today I’m re-writing my money story.
Today I am trusting that the universe will support me to follow my dreams.
That money comes abundantly and unexpectedly, especially when I’m not paying attention and simply doing what I love with all my heart.
That by doing what I love I will be paid my worth and I can then be uber-generous with those around me in need.
And that yes, when I love my work, it will set me free.
What’s your money story?
Does it hold you back? Go rewrite it. Now.
(PS Here’s the class I’m in)
Ahhhhhh, abundance. Even the sound of that word makes me smile. I’ve given a lot of thought to money and what it means to have “enough.” I’ve come to the conclusion that the more I earn, the more I spend. So, I’m becoming a little more discerning.
If travel lights me up, I need to earn enough to travel. If eating lights me up, I need to find a way to create a career that feeds me (chocolate). Check.
Hmmmmm, I think I like the sound of doing what I love with all my heart, being uber-generous with those around me and trusting that I’ll see the return, in dividends.
I think I like the sound of “laughter wafting off the boats in the Bay at sunset, the champagne glasses clinking in the starlight. . .”
I too am becoming more discerning Sue Ann, noticing what I NEED and what I think I need are two different things. We really need so very little to be happy. And most days I am enormously grateful even to have a roof over my head and a heater that keeps me warm. We are so very blessed!
Love it! Thank you my dear friend Laura for an other refreshing story about yourself and about most of us:)
Thank you Nathalie, I’m glad you could relate!
Love the story…I’m with you!
I am taking a “know your abundance, live your dream” class right now. The universe does supply and the supply is already within me just figuring how to express itself !
Doing my second round of The ” 40 Day Prosperity Plan” with John Randolph Price’s book “The Abundance Book”
Loving life my friend!
Katie
Katie – wow! You are moving sister! how exciting that you are making all these shifts, can’t wait to hear more about who you are becoming!
I love your story and the story that so many can understand! I am also doing what I can to understand money and my relationship with it. I am always scared to ask for what I need or want when it comes to money. However, I have always had money in the bank and bills paid. I am certain that I will “get” this relationship better in order to gain access to the security that I crave. I do know that I need to make the big money in order to give back the way I want so, I too am stepping up my game.
I am beginning to realize Nasrine, that once the basics are covered the amount of money we have does not make us more or less safe or secure or happy. I just read that the magic number where people are happy is $75,000 per household, not less, and no, not more. It made me think about how we define our financial happiness. I love your example, because it shows that money in the bank does not equate to a better relationship with money, just different!
Lovely story; lovely writing. “When I love my work,it will set me free.” If only everyone had this mindset the world would be a different place. Learning to up our game when it comes to money has been a mind-altering experience for me. Digging into the past helps. Thank you for sharing! xo
Thank you Tracey, I loved reflecting on the past, and how it shapes my spending habits today, so eye-opening!
Ha, you are attacking the big subjects! Soon you’ll write about sexua… oops sorry to mention “it”. Thanks for sharing about your story! When I think about money, I think about my relationship to my salary, which has often been tied to my issues with my own self worth. For a long time, i worked for free because it was to complicate for me to manage the “right” number. The same number could be either to high (pressure), too loo (devaluation). How much do I worth and what’s my compass? That’s still a delicate question! xoxo
Ha, you crack me up! Yes, maybe next blog I will jump into that taboo subject as well! How much we tie our self-worth to the salary, that really speaks to me!
I have a very good relationship with money… as long as I have savings in the bank, as long as my husband earns more than me, as longs as my salary is not too low, not too high! Please, read Laura Gates’s blog if you want to prompt your own reflection about your relationship with money!
Funny you should write about money this week, Laura. A nice amount found me by way of inheritance. Not enough to retire on, but several months of living expenses. It made me think about how little money matters to me at this stage of my life. There was a time that I lived paycheck to paycheck. Now, with direct deposit, I barely connect my work with wages. I love the work that I do, and I feel blessed to be compensated fairly. The big money worry for me is whether I will go back to living paycheck to paycheck in retirement. (Keep working, you might say.) It’s true that I love my work, but I feel a gravitational pull to seek a slower life outside of the corporate world. That will mean much less money. I will adapt to it as I have adapted throughout my life, but the uncertainty is unsettling, especially given the state of the world economy. So I hope you’re right that I should follow my dreams and good things will happen. (I wonder if that’s why the government writes “in God we trust” on cash?).
Chris.
Thanks so much for your comments. I too struggle with this balance of having enough and trying not to worry about the future, but wanting to have a life that is sustainable in the future. It is so easy to get caught in the pace of corporate America! Finding that edge of doing what we love, being paid well and not getting on the hamster wheel is a challenge and one I look forward to overcoming… soon!
Hi Laura,
What resonated most with me was:
“That by doing what I love I will be paid my worth and I can then be uber-generous with those around me in need.”
I look at money providing me with the freedom to have an impact as well. Money isn’t dirty – it’s meant to do good… 🙂
Thanks for reminding people to expand their meaning around money!
Marion
Marion
I had a little a-ha moment on this last piece you said when I was hitting the send button on a Paypal purchase yesterday and realized I had a little “glimpse” feeling inside of me. I suddenly realized I DON”T LIKE SPENDING MONEY. It’s stressful, I always feel a little guilty and question the decision of what I purchased. And then the thought, that I have heard a thousand times “money is just energy” came into my head. Yes, of course, I earn money to pay for things that are important to invest my energy in. Lightbulb moment. I am the one who puts the emotion into the money when in fact it is just another tool in my life! Huge!
Thank you for sharing this story! I can relate in so many ways!
You are very welcome Theresa, so glad you could relate and nice to see you here!
Laura, your review of your money history was an eye-opener for me. Some of the same dynamics were part of my history. (My “motivational” bell-bottoms were chartreuse green!) I liked how you pointed out that we can free ourselves from the mindsets that have kept us imprisoned — that, in effect, we’re keeping ourselves imprisioned UNTIL we make it a point to re-write our own money stories. Very freeing indeed!
Kim, so great that bell-bottoms were your motivator too! how funny. Yes, freeing ourselves from that mindset is SO empowering. Let me know how it goes!
Laura,
Thanks for sharing your personal story. It’s amazing how early we pick up our stories about money and how much they impact our current interactions & relationships with money. Upon reflection one of the first decisions I made about money was that I would always have enough to buy whatever clothes I wanted. As an adult this showed up as a belief that money was for spending, which was fine until I wanted some in savings and for retirement 🙂
Good for you for taking a look at your stories and being willing to change them! If you ever need any support, just let me know! 🙂
Thanks Christy, I will definitely let you know if I need help. And yes, this saving for retirement does seem like an uphill battle, especially in our current economic client. I try hard to save before it even hits the account otherwise I feel like I am giving something up!
Laura and Christy —
May I suggest a reframe? Play with this thought. Saving for retirement is effortless and easy. Saving is easy, especially in our current economic environment.
Just play with your thinking around it and let go of the worry that your savings and retirement aren’t getting filled. Put an action plan in place to automate savings to both and just let it happen.
Very thought-provoking! Well done, my friend. I look forward to seeing what is next (and where)… 😉