Recently a friend, who happens to be a Burmese nun, invited me to see the Dalai Lama address the Tibetan people residing in the San Francisco Bay Area. I had seen the Tibetan spiritual leader once before, and was moved by his talk and the film, “Ten Questions for the Dalai Lama.” More importantly, I had been somewhat adrift and in need of inspiration in my life.
At 9am Saturday the morning of the talk, I picked up my niece for ballet when my father-in-law called to tell me he thought he might be having a heart attack. Oh, no, I silently retorted, you can’t be having a heart attack! I need to see the Dalai Lama and get spiritually enlightened this afternoon! I told him to call 911, and called my husband, practically yelling into the phone, “you need to take care of your father! I have to see the Dalai Lama!”
I dropped my niece off and peeled out of the parking lot, nearly knocking down one of her little friends as I rushed to my next destination – acupuncture. Dashing into Dr. Wong’s office 5 minutes late, I pleaded with him, “I need to get through this fast.” A wise, unflappable Chinese man, he simply nodded his head and told me to lie down on the table as he strategically inserted the slim needles designed to calm me and balance my energy.
As soon as the needles were out, I jumped in my car to pick up my niece and brought her to my mother’s for the afternoon. I called my husband to see if he’d looked in on his father. “He’ll be fine,” he said. “I’m sure it’s a false alarm.” “Well, I can’t handle everything you know, I need to see the Dalai Lama!” I screeched as I hung up the phone. I felt like strangling him as I drove back home, changed clothes and picked up my Burmese nun friend. Navigating through traffic stacked up by the Dalai Lama’s black limo motorcade, we desperately searched for parking and joined the long line of people waiting to enter the auditorium in Berkeley where his Holiness was speaking. After standing in line for an hour in the hot sun, we were searched with a metal detector and our water bottles were confiscated at the door. My friend was escorted down to the orchestra section with the other monks and nuns. I was herded up to the sweltering balcony with hundreds of other “Westerners.” After all, we were just observers, this talk was for the Tibetans.
As we waited another hour for his holiness to appear, more and more people squeezed into the seats, aisles and stairwells around me. A delightful children’s musical presentation announced the entrance of the Dalai Lama, who settled himself in his chair on stage while we were told he would speak in English for the benefit of the foreign visitors. He arranged his robes around him, adjusted his familiar wire-rimmed glasses and began talking about how our culture is preoccupied with money, and how we’re all running around trying to make more of it. I craned my neck to hear him over the children crying and people coughing around me. Did I mention how hot it was? Feeling hungry and thirsty, I gazed around me at the aisles packed with people and wondered if the balcony could possibly hold the weight of all of us. Hadn’t I just read about a balcony collapsing in an old theater somewhere, killing hundreds of people? I peered down below to see my friend surrounded by saffron-robed devotees comfortably sitting in the third row. She looked like she was having a lovely time.
As the Dalai Lama talked about the importance of Tibetans educating their children, I mentally planned what I was going to have for dinner. He moved on to the topic of politics and the Chinese and the need for non-violence as I wondered how much traffic we’d have to navigate to get out of Berkeley and if I’d have time to stop at Trader Joe’s.
And then it hit me. There I was, in an audience with His Holiness the Dalai Lama, one of the most powerful spiritual teachers of our time, and I was not even remotely present. Not only that, but from the moment I left my house that morning, I had single handedly violated just about every principle he’d espoused. In my desperation to discover spiritual inspiration, I almost took out a kid, strangled my husband, and abandoned my father-in-law in his hour of need. I was stressed out and angry at everyone who I perceived as an obstacle on my mad quest to hear the pearls of wisdom from the Master of Presence. For the remainder of the talk, which unfortunately was quite brief, I closed my eyes and basked in the presence of the Dalai Lama. And even though I couldn’t understand a word he said, I realized the most profound teaching came that day, as they often do, from me realizing my own human fallibility. I laughed quietly to myself thinking had I sat in my garden and meditated for ten minutes instead, I would have been a more powerful contributor to world peace.
I love you Laura! I am glad you are doing this…your introspection is a gift in itself and I loved this first post. I hope everyone reads your blog. With the most genuine humility (like using your own behavior as an example of fallible spirituality), you become such a wonderful example and healer because we can all relate and learn something really special from someone who is just as normal as us. To complete the circle…I love you Laura!
Brilliant! What a simple yet powerful and life changing lesson you learned that day! Congratulations on your new blog and thank you for sharing your words of wisdom.
Congratulations for your blog!! (not to insist that it’s been a long time we’ve been waiting for it and it was quite missing…). The picture on the top is gorgeous and your story is really wise and funny!
Laura,
This is to my wife who I have seen strive so hard to want to make the world a better place. She has found her way to do this through many ways – in her work, in her relationships with loved ones, and her kindness to people and friends in need (myself included). Laura has a powerful gift of the pen, where she utilizes her life’s experiences and witty humor to write some amazing stories that almost everybody can relate to in some way. I am very glad that she is pursuing her path to happiness through her love, and the power of the word. I love you, and I’m very proud of your accomplishments.
Your husband,
Laurence
ahh, lovely, lovely to read this new endeavor of yours, long thought of and finally manifesting. I look forward to it’s unfolding in blog-size bites…
with love,
janice
HA! And I thought I was the Queen of Looking for Enlightenment in All the Wrong Places….
I had mixed feelings about that “10 Questions” movie. If I ever see you again we’ll have to talk about it – and all the rest.
Looking forward to more. Wishing you much love, and peace of mind!
Congratulations Laura:
I can absolutely relate to your story about the Dalli Laima. It’s hard sometimes for me to realize that if I aspire to become a spiritual giant…I’m shrinking in spirit. The everyday humilities of life keep me from “walking on water”. It would be nice though…you know…the walking on water. From that place I could judge and be untouchable. Stumbling forward three steps with two steps backward is my walk with the Creator. The times that I’m the most aligned with the Universe, is the times I’m unaware of myself.
In spite of the fact that I will never arrive at a place of perfection or “holier than thou”,
I remained committed to spiritual seeking. I seek to know…and in the seeking..the experience of my existence is illuminated.
I’m glad you are blogging. I will be reading.
If you are able to contribute at this level each week then I will be an avid reader! This is a wonderful story and I am enjoying the reflection on my choices in the moment. Many thanks for your insights as always.
Congratulations Laura, great start to your blog, I look forward to many wonderful stories here. Love, Dad
Felicitaciones, otra vez!
me encanto la historia
…y tambien lo que te escribio tu esposo 😉
Sigue mandando mas!
This is the everyday genius of Laura…telling on herself, her inner thoughts, frustrations, tripping over self-manufactured obstacles, so that the rest of us can see ourselves! Thank you, Laura!
Laura,
Thank you for sharing your insight. I find myself running around like a chicken with its head cut off, on a semi-regular basis; next time this happens, I will remind myself to think back to your blog, and to give myself the opportunity to breathe.
Peace.
Laura,
Great start for a blog! I can visualise you seeing you going through all your emotions, as I read throuh your story. Thanks for sharing, best rgds
Great blog Laura! LOVED IT!! You are a fantastic writer and ONE amazing spirit. I’m going to be looking forward to reading more and being present with you online or in spirit while basking under the moon!
Thank you so much Laura for sharing an experience that resonates deeply with me. As you know, despite my constant quest to be a Buddha, I often fail. While I can find calm, peace and recommitment to my goal in silent meditation, the unconquered challenge is to preserve that wisdom and equanimity in the face of unexpected events – especially when things aren’t going my way. Like you, I get better at it every day, and seeing that even a Bodhisattva like yourself can struggle gives us less-enlightened people, some reassurance that we may not be so bad after all.
I am reminded of a quote from Theodore Roosevelt: “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Please keep on helping us all be better people in the actual “arena” of life! May you always be safe, secure, healthy, happy and at peace.
Bob Sheffield
Hey Laura,
I finally got around to reading your blog and was thoroughly entertained. The writing is delightful and insightful and the subject all of us, unfortunately, can relate to! Your sense of humor, as always, adds that special personal appeal and charm that makes reading your work pure pleasure. I love the juxtaposition of things like the Dali Lama’s discussion on non-violence and Trader Joe’s. You do that kind of thing so effortlessly. You’ve really enhanced your use of detail and the narrative flows smoothly and beautifully. I look forward to your next one. I was sorry when this one ended. I wanted more.
All the best,
Susan Efros